Grief

Hi guys,

So today was my cousins funeral.

This was my first ever funeral that I was allowed to go to and it was a completely new experience for me. This was a humanist service which meant it didn't have any religious side to it which apparently is a bit different to most funerals. 

I didn't know how I would cope although I do know that I am a very emotional person which meant that I was definetly going to cry- infavt most if the service I was trying not to cry. At the end of the service he went in his last journey to go and get cremated the following day. This is when it really hut me- I was walking down towards the exit and saw everyone crying and the thought of a man who I grew up with going to be lot on fire set me off and I broke down. 

After the service we went to the wake where the atmosphere wasn't as sad as the service which definetly calmed me down. 

Coping with grief is a very difficult thing to deal with especially when a close relative dies. It didn't hit me until  about 10 minutes after my mum told me he was dead. I then burst in to tears and let a lot of my grief out. When I came to the funeral I really realised that that was the place to cone to terms with my cousin never coming back. Which I think was partially the reason that I started crying because I knew that even if he was in his coffin that was the closest I would very be to him ever again.

To those of you who might be coping with grief now I tell you that if you are too scared to go to the funeral or any type of service comemerating their lives definetly go- it will definetly help you come to terms with your loss and I think it helps your grieving process a lot. It will get better. I promise.

Lots of love,

Erin xoxox

I'd like to dedicate this to my cousin -  Josh Gauld- age 23 you will be sorely missed and will never be forgotten R.I.P. XXXXX

Summer has finally begun!!

Hey guys!
So similarly to some of you guys I am now on school holidays for the summer! YAY!
We are given 6 weeks off this year and usually i have real trouble coming up with things to do and keep myself busy with. This year has been slightly different from that respect. I have barely had a day to spare because I have been so busy recently.

Last week I went to the beach twice in one week, last week when it was hot... well- 25 degrees celsius, thats probably not very hot to some of you who read this but to us Britons 25 degrees is the equivalent to a draught! I used my new things (in my last blog post i wrote about them) a lot recently especially my bikini and shorts, those shorts have been a LIFESAVER! When I go in the sea i wear my bikini and those shorts on top and I have learnt that they are brilliant, they don't stick to you uncomfortably like denim shorts, they let you move around easily in the sea and I just generally love them... then again I love most of the things I buy from Primark!

I love keeping busy, and going to the beach is a great way to spend with my friends... I mean whats better to lay in a line and burn our skin simultaneously and then freeze to death a few times in the sea! I love going out with my friends and becoming closer to them!

AND NOW PLEASE WELCOME........ another hideous photo of me (I'm on the right) next to one of my pretty friends......

I have been doing other things other than going to the beach like bowling and going to an amusement park.

Im pretty sure most of you reading this will be aware of those stupid machines at the arcade in which the aim is to win a cuddly toy and nobody ever wins them.
Well my friends I would like to announce that I won a cuddly toy! That may be a shock to a few of you but just calm down and breath ;). This shows how productive my summer holidays are.. the highlight of my time off is winning a despicable me cuddly toy haha.

Another thing which I have done in the holidays is go to the cinema. I have seen 'The Fault In Our Stars'. I really wanted this to be as good as the book and as emotional.. I cried at the book so I was expecting to cry at the film.
NOPE.
Don't you hate it when there is a really intense moment in a film and in some cases a really sad moment- there was a lot of these in The Fault In Our Stars- and a bunch of silly little children decide to talk the whole way through the film and when they aren't doing that they cry extremely loudly, but feel the need to tell everyone in their row that they are crying... WHY!
These people ruined the atmosphere for me meaning I didn't get the experience I was hoping for from this film.. *quietly cries in the corner*

So yeah, that is what my holiday has so far consisted of apart from working occasionally: the beach,bowling,theme parks and annoying little children!!!!
I hope you guys are enjoying your holidays (if you have them) if not go ahead and just hang out with your friends even doing nothing with them increases your summer happiness by about 110%
Lots of love,
Erin xoxox